How to be Human: things not to say

I have been sick for a while. This particular round of illness has been escalating since April 2015.  I am sick of it.  The worst part is not knowing what is wrong.  The past 6 months daily activities and working have been especially difficult.  I’ve drained my savings and my mom’s savings.  I’ve been working hard at getting well.  It’s exhausting.  Most recently, I’ve stopped eating corn.  That takes the list to processed food, refined sugar, dairy, wheat, soy, eggs, fish, peanuts, millet, cabbage, apples, mangoes.  I try to do breathing, meditation and exercise at least 5 days a week.  I have a fitness tracker to track my sleep and exercise.

It’s exhausting.  It’s not new.  I did not grow up on soda, white bread and fried foods. I grew up on whole grains, fresh fruit and vegetables. I also didn’t make my body but I’m trying to leave with it.  So when I meet someone who doesn’t know the first thing about glycemic index, prostaglandins, FODMAPS, autoimmune disease and they try to tell me what I NEED to be doing I get really really angry. Here’s some things I’ve been told recently.

1.  You need to stop yourself from gaining weight.  So you thing I’m choosing to be this size.  You want to try pumping your body full of steroids and then tell me how you stop the weight.  It’s never ok to talk about someone’s weight loss/gain unless you’re the kind of friends who talk everyday.
2. You need to exercise more.  Yea I will get right on that.
3. The inhaler is bad for you.  Well it’s better than struggling to breathe.  I did not realize barely finishing high school qualified you to be a pulmunologist.
4. You need to eat healthy.  Raw carrots and parsley, only organic.  Now here it’s usually someone who only recently discovered vegetables. I have perfected the blank stare in response because otherwise I fear the vilest string of curse words will escape from my mouth.  If you insist on giving dietary advise the best way to broach the subject is have you tried… That way it looks more like you’re trying to help and lest like you’re being judgmental and condescending.
5. You should stop eating….. Chances are they’re about to tell me something that I’ve long forgotten the taste of like butter, cheese or gluten.  Just shut up! Or ask a question.  Have you considered going gluten free?
6. You should go see X doctor.  Usually a really expensive doctor in another country.  Like for real….as if…  The next person who suggests it I’m going to ask to set it all up and pay for it.  Bet you’re going to think twice now.
7. You just need to have a baby.  Yea I’m going to get right on that.  I hope you throw me a shower and provide unlimited babysitting.

 I can assure you there’s more but I’ve blocked them from my memory.  I’m off to block these and cleanse them out of my system.